Contents of F:

 

 

Fag:  (see Homo, but repeat about 10,000 more times [like during my childhood].)

 

Family - Choice and Biological:

          There is a biological need and an environmental demand for families. When humans are born the chances of them surviving without the aid of a family are very slim. Due to this, the help of a family is necessitated until the time when the little human becomes capable of taking care of the needs that a family initially fulfills. At what point a human reaches this stage of independence is different for each person. However, there comes a time in almost every personās life when they are no longer dependent on their families to provide him or her with the necessities of living.

          In some poor communities, a common phenomenon is the creation of families of choice. These families are born out of the necessity of having some support group in place to make up for the lack of adequate resources afforded to the biologically-related family. Families grow to include neighbors and friends who fill roles traditionally reserved for blood relatives. Often, a community must act together in order to ensure that all children are properly looked after while parents are working. Because of the socio-economic position of these families, they cannot afford daycare or paid nannies. In these situations, a chosen family grows out of the shared responsibility for the children, creating several older parental figures in each childās life, and out of the interaction of the children, creating bonds not dissimilar to siblings or cousins. The Īuncles, aunts, sisters, brothers and cousinsā that are created in these situations, while lacking shared family trees,  maintain relationships very similar to Ībloodā relationships, and it is sometimes impossible to differentiate one from the other.

          The above example is not an experience many people have. For many, oneās family consists strictly of those people who are related to one Īby bloodā. In both cases, even after one is no longer physically dependent on the family, the desire to have a relationship with oneās family remains, often for psychological and emotional reasons. Often, this desire supersedes the very common occurrence of ideological differences between one and oneās family. So, if both a biological family and a chosen family are compelled to stick together even in the case of severe differences, blood must have very little to do with this decision.

          Most people I have known have experienced a time of conflict in their lives when theyāve reached their age of independence and have had to deal with ideological differences between themselves and their families. Sometimes, this period is extremely difficult for all involved. Often, this has led to estranged or strained relationships. However, another typical outcome is that the differences that lead to estranged or strained relationships - differences that have to do with what is most important and sacred to a person - are overlooked in order to continue the relationship. This is a very interesting situation. Why is anyone willing to overlook extreme ideological differences, ones that would typically make adversaries out of the people involved, in order to maintain a relationship with someone else when it is not a relationship necessitated by biological needs or environmental demands? There has to be a pretty good reason why we are willing to put up with our brotherās prejudices, our uncleās homophobia, our sisterās classism, etcetera.

          At some time in my life, I was very close to my immediate family. They made up my Family - those people that make my life possible, worth living and enjoyable. At this point, no one in my immediate family fulfills this role and everyone in my immediate family engages in activities that I find highly objectionable. However, I want to be close to all of these people still. The reason is that, at some point in my life, we shared something that I will never have with anyone else. And for this reason we are inextricably bound. I will always have certain shared experiences that will always make time spent with these people time well spent. Itās sort of amazing that we could have  relationships so intense - relationships which overshadow changes that might draw us apart.

          The idea of a chosen family, one in which membership is dependent upon common experience, rather than Ībloodā, is one that intrigues me. I believe that having a system of support is necessary for nearly everyone... not necessarily on a physical level but on an emotional level. This group I call my Family. They differ from my family in that this Family is chosen.

          I have some friends that mean the world to me, some of them I chose and some of them were random and Iām not going to assume that because a friend canāt be found on the family tree that theyāre not actually Family, or that if they are family then they have to be a friend. My close friends are my Family and some of my family are my Family too. Iām not going to draw silly lines in the ground. My Family is the most important thing in the world to me, and in the end they are all I have, but my Family is a little harder to get into than the typical family and Ībloodā doesnāt always have that much to do with it.

          For some people families are easy things - they hate each other or they love each other or at least they pretend itās this simple. I question those who quickly reject their family as fast as I question those that quickly accept them (just as I would question quick acceptance or rejection of practically anything else). For most people familial relationships are just not that simple. A careful balance must be struck in order to have a worthwhile relationship. Sometimes, that relationship should be non-existent, and sometimes, we should take a little more time forging a relationship with family because in the end it may be worthwhile (and this relationship may be more difficult to create precisely because you are family). But difficulty should not necessarily be a deterrent. There will inevitably be disagreements between any two people trying to forge a close relationship. We must be equally prepared for, and accepting of, these disagreements with our families as we are of our romantic partners and close friends (for whom these disagreements seem more acceptable). But we must also be prepared to end a relationship, regardless of who is involved, if it is not a positive one. You would think that it is obvious, but perhaps not; there can be many experiences within families - there must be room for all.

 

Fashion:

          The only way to really combat it is to pretend not to notice. Undeniably we all advocate a fashion of sorts, and attempts to refute our consciousness of non-verbal communication forms are vain at best. All tries for un-fashion are inherently unsuccessful, as the fashion consciousness can appropriate anything, turning the previously uncouth into runway fare. I suggest that individual styles not be judged on how ćfashionableä they may be, but on their substance: What is the environmental impact of pursuing this fashion form?; How empowering is this style for its wearer?; How does a particular behavior pattern affect members of a community?.

 

Fish vs. Geist:         

I know sometimes we know we know it all.

All rightly ordered and filed in our heads.

Our species had to be, by virtue of its reason-

The positing of itself at the center of all things.

So we are the nuclei, and the epicycles spin.

So we are the nuclei as everythingās cerebral,

And we will problem-solve·

Thatās just the way it is·

While all that fish can do is swim.

But thereāve been no fish whoāve sinned,

And thereāve been no fish whoāve hated·

And theyāre much too dumb to plan symbolic bombings.

 

Free Jazz, the ĪNewā Version of Punk in the 1960ās:

          According to Maximum Rock nā Roll, punk rock is and has always been, defined as a certain approach to playing rock and roll music. ĪPunk rockā, as the name so obviously suggests, is a type of rock music. Maximum Rock nā Roll, and the vast audience they educate, refer to punk rock as that type of rock music that is more Īin your faceā and disrespectful than the traditionally disrespectful rock nā roll. The disrespect of the different types of rock nā roll, exists to varying degrees, yet it is always a kind of disrespect of Īyouā and/or Īthe worldā. As a result, punk rock has become definable as a louder, more obnoxious, and less Īorganizedā brand of rock and roll. This opinion is supported and attested to by Maximum Rock nā Rollās comical ĪPioneers of Punkā features, which seek, in almost every issue, to illustrate the history of punk rock. Punk rock, according to these, is dirty rock, mean rock, primitive and nihilistic; it is the rock that doesnāt give a fuck about what you say because there aināt nothing to give a fuck about.

          I, along with many other self-identified punks, flatly reject this definition that makes a music Īpunkā on the grounds of its inherent apathy and manifestation of style. However, a frightening amount of this non-productive sentiment has been imported and anchored to almost every definition of punk that Iāve come across. That is to say, even many of my Īlike-mindedā comrades would explain the sound of some record or band as being punk, hardcore, thrash, crust, or emo- and be intending with these designations to illustrate their different musical styles and even their varying distances from apathetic rock. Incidentally, Īemoā is short for emotional. And frankly, if emo refers to music that is characterized as being emotional, then I would adamantly argue that all good music must be emo music. I mean, who the fuck wants to get all emotional over music that is emotionally detached from itself?

          I have noticed that I am consistently looking for music that has defined objectives for itself that it can openly profess. Of course, all musicians have objectives, but only very few of them are willing to announce that they are playing for sex, cash, and fame. But there is indeed a strain of music that honestly and openly longs to be a proactive constituent in a sub or counter culture. And, there are indeed musicians whom would be offended or exploited by an audience that reduced them to the soundtrack of a fraternity party or the backdrop for apathy (consider the difference?). There is indeed music that works to create a new resource for its recipients- entertainment that can be repeatedly drawn upon for the sake of change or growth. These are revolutionary because they aim to radically change what is and to bring in something radically different. They do not have to succeed at causing a revolution in order to be revolutionary; for the latter always aims at the former. It is what they are working towards- trying to erect in the place of something else. For me, music does not have to be overtly political to be worthwhile, but it does need to wage a fundamental Īprinciple-warā against the principles that permeate the youth-culture it seeks to interrupt. If its principles are barely mutations of the widely accepted standard (i.e. dirty rock, obnoxious rock, etc.) then I cannot help but to view it as a music that fails to take advantage of its capacity. In fact, I take offense pretty frequently to the music I hear which degrades the very capacity of music. I am in love with music, and just as it is with a person you love, I wish for music to fulfill its furthest potential.

          This is how I consider music. I suggest all of this as the content of punk, and I understand that it is a single definition in an abyss where one more may not even be necessary. What do you think? Is it reasonable? If you do think so, then let us not ignore history. There was a movement in jazz, circa the early sixties, which thrived throughout the middle to end of that decade. The movement was called Īthe newā, Īthe new musicā, Īenergy musicā, Īthe new thingā, Īfree jazzā, or the Īavant gardeā. With regard to the music Iāve characterized favorably and hopefully above, this Īnewā music was amongst the most successful. It was, at that time, not called Ījazz musicā by jazz connoisseurs. We can attempt to call it punk if we like, but as you can see, it appears to be highly unnamable. When I first heard it, I had already been listening to the music Iāve called Īpunkā for seven years· But never before had I heard anything so Īpunkā. That is to say, Īpunkā as an action instead of a description. It is a music that acknowledged the imprisonment of western rhythms and melodies that marched right along, in a straight-line-accordance with term-years and the corporate work-day. This Īnewā music sought, therefore, to free the drums and the bass from the role of time-keeping. It located a delicate beauty in the most furious disregard for melody and the linear song. Yet, this Īnewā music was and is not devoid of melody, for it sings a new tuneful melody- pretty and free. The bird in the cage is pretty too, but it is not free. The opening of the cage, represented by the playing of this music, might in fact look ugly to the masses that are so used to confined melodies traveling from left to right like the reading of a well-ordered but false history book. Like the nature of this planet, the Īnewā music supplanted the artificial sounds of your great western movements and idols with other noises like chirps, screams, squeaks, smashing, and an overwhelming persistence to elude our predictions. In this way, the Īnewā music was more romantic than the most popular love songs. That is to say, it was romantic like Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Charles Baudelaire, not like Julio Iglesias and the operatic. It was so free, that the unfamiliar listener could only call it Īchaoticā. But this chaos was and is its order, and the structure was and is much more like the structure of nature, where the elements are in a constant dialogue with each other (i.e. evolution, erosion, rock-formation, extinction, etc.) and are always giving birth. The music was, and is still, the most pregnant Iāve ever heard. It has something to give that, 39 years later, is still a newborn infant.

          These musicians were so free in their playing that they tricked us into thinking that they were incomprehensible- but please notice that this makes a direct and immediate commentary on the state of our freedom as listeners. What I mean by this is that any foreign language will be incomprehensible for as long as you resist its semantics. And so it was that the incomprehensibility of the free jazz pointed out the one-dimensionality of its critics. All of our punk bands that are so eager to point out the forms and traditional structures of the evil, Īoutside-worldā often fail to address their own adoption of forms and traditional structures as their corrupted, blessed medium? The ĪNewā music addressed this issue over and over again. In fact, it made the asking of this question the living form of its every breath. Yet, it delivered the answer always with the question. There is a wholeness it achieved that was repulsive to the consumer raised on only parts; small pieces, cut to conveniently fit the shape of a lullaby that you hear briefly before falling to sleep.

          Further, this music belonged to a sub-culture of musicians, most of whom possessed the technical mastery to play jazz music for the hip side of the business- the only side of the business, or so the business would have you believe. If they would have just bent in the appropriate fashion, they could have made themselves some money. But, as it were, they refused to bend. They were receiving a different kind of currency, you see, earning a different kind of wage. They might, for example, drive a taxi in NYC- and then go to their real jobs afterwards, behind the drums, or with a reed split by sarcastic, overblown wailing. This music was and is improvised, argumentative, communal, provocative, and implicitly and explicitly political. It never caused a revolution youāve seen or read about, and yet it could not have been any more revolutionary.

          It was once said of Albert Aylerās group that ć[t]heir sound was so different, so rare and raw, like screaming the word ĪFUCKā in Saint Patrickās Cathedral on crowded Easter Sunday. ·others shouted at the musicians to shut up. I sat shocked, stoned and amazed by what I was witnessing. Their music was unlike anything that I had heard before.ä Now I can explain no more. I cannot describe a thing that is unintelligible and yet profoundly intelligent. Our language is not designed to treat such anomalies, and so the exploitation of this music begins when the critics or I attempt to describe it like an immobile landscape. As Milford Graves said of the music: ćSome people talk of freedom but their playing what they think they should play. You canāt go into freedom without conditioning yourself. If youāve been living a certain way for twenty years and then all of a sudden you come out and say you want to be free, it doesnāt work because youāre fighting yourself. Really thereās so much more involved internally that itās like being controlled by your sub-conscious self, deeper things of which youāre not aware. When the musicians who can understand this type of freedom get together, we get a reward, but itās nothing you can analyseä (249, ibid.).

          The recordings are rare, but so is the CD that accompanies this book- and so are most of your other records. Seek them out: Albert Ayler, Cecil Taylor, Don Cherry, Roswell Rudd, Sonny Murray, Milford Graves, Frank Wright, Sun Ra, John Tchicai, Tom Price, Henry Grimes, Gary Peacock, Perry Robinson, Edward Blackwell, Ornette Coleman, Jacques Coursil, Beaver Harris, Jimmy Lyons, and many others. If you find one, you will be led to many others.

          You will likely find, even in all of your iconoclastic punkness, that the music is very difficult to listen to at first; that listening to it is painful. You may feel yourself being stretched out immediately in the opposing directions that its non-linear expansion demands of you. I expect that your response will be dramatic and unmanageable at first. You might, however, decide to manage it by resolving that it sucks and rushing to turn it off- In which case you have styled yourself as the punk who is rejecting the conflicts that disrupt your own comfort... A comfort with definitions that have clearly missed the point.

 

Friendship:

               My life is meaningless without it.